big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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