WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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