it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
where are you?
Hypothermia
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
