it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
