i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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