She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
