Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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