let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize