Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I wish I only lived at night.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
