my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
home. puking in laundry basket.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
