Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
