Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
