i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
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