Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
