you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just found puke in my bra..
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
