Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she peed on how many people?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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