question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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