Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
