this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
