I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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