I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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