just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
