so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
