Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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