there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
