tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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