why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
