Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
