Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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