So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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