Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
