Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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