Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
