omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
