I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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