for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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