I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
