U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize