I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done