so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she smelled like a LAN party
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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