so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
