yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
