You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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