Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
