just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
