If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
