I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
