the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
