First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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