I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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