I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
