SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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