I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
