He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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