Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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