Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
