took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We're using joints as your birthday candles
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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