at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
