It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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