just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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