So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
