I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
