either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
