i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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