how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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